Acts of Self Consumption

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Acts of Self Consumption

The dictionary defines consumption as both the ‘use of a resource’ and ‘a wasting disease’. This collection explores the different acts of self consumption a person can go through—sacrifice and selfishness, defeat and hubris. It’s an unpacking of guilt for making the wrong choices; for contradictory compulsions; for complicity.

Excerpt - "The Boys in the Lineup"

Suppose one night
when you are ready for bed your phone rings
& it’s the
police
asking if you could
identify a boy from a lineup.

So you head to the station & see them in a row—
your father, your lover,
your future son, &
a ghost you can’t quite make out.

Maybe it’s in the shape of the boy
you buried in your yard
or the dead weight,
on the other side of the bed.

All of them have seen you nude.
All of them
have seen your best side
& your shadow over them at 4am,
with a shovel & a pack of ice.
All of them have flayed you
from heart to marrow.
& you figure out
who you’re supposed to save.

Recent Work Press, 2023

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Ally Chua

Ally Chua was the 2019 Singapore Unbound Fellow for New York City, and a member of writing collective /s@ber. She has been published in QLRS, Cordite Poetry Review, Lammergeier Magazine and Thimble Magazine. Her poetry collection, Acts of Self Consumption, will be published by Recent Work Press in Spring 2023. The Disappearance of Patrick Zhou is her first novel.

Short Notes with Ally Chua

What does "Mata Hati | 心眼 | Eye of the Heart | மனக்கண் வழியே" mean to you in writing?

For writers, it is the truth we want to share at the very core of our work.

What does your writing process look like? Do you type or write? Are there multiple drafts, long pauses, or sudden bursts of activity?

Sometimes I get inspiration – snatches of good lines, beautiful metaphors – over the course of my day. To make sure I capture them, I write these lines down in my Gmail drafts inbox during trains and bus rides. Then I refine them in a proper writing session.

What does your working space look like?

Messy – two laptops, notepads, and post-it notes lying around. And well-thumbed copies of Acts of Self Consumption and The Disappearance of Patrick Zhou (my novel) for quick reference near me.

Make an elevator pitch for your shortlisted work in 30 words or less.

If you’ve ever felt contradictory compulsions – ever felt guilty for complicity; regretted making wrong choices – this book would be perfect for you.

Could you share a pivotal moment as you were writing this work?

I knew while I was writing "The Boys in the Lineup" that – because of its themes and imagery – this poem was something special and would become a pivotal poem in my collection.

If you could give one advice to yourself when you were writing this book, what would it be?

You will get tired by the process of writing, querying, and getting rejected, especially since you also had a day job. But keep at it, and you will eventually see the light at the end of the tunnel.